Ask Shawon

Selig Acts Against Sabean

2008-04-13T21:47:00.000-07:00

Check out this article from The San Francisco Examiner:

SABEAN FIRED BY SELIG FOR HIS ROLE IN BALCO SCANDAL; ALL GIANTS TRANSACTIONS SINCE 2002 REVERSED
Aurilia Unfortunately Still On Team

SAN FRANCISCO, CA: Baseball commissioner Bud Selig has laid his iron backhand directly into Brian Sabean's mouth for the Giants General Manager's laissez faire attitude towards steroids. Historically, when asked why he allowed a known steroids distributor in the Giants clubhouse since 2002, Sabean has relied upon his trademark multi-motto "sterioids shmeroids, let 'em play ball, to each his own" to bail him out of the questioning. Ironically, in a fit of irony, this tolerant stance could ironically leave Sabean on his own.
Selig announced today that not only is Sabean fired as GM, but any trade or signing the Giants made during the "tainted tenure", 2002-nnnNow!, will be null and void. What this means for the Giants is that their heart and soul, Barry Bonds, is back on the team and hitting cleanup, thus ending the "Gamer" ad campaign. Bonds was quoted as saying "Hell yeah I was planning on this. I know all along I was headed back here... Here or prison."
In addition, Jeremy Accardo, Joe Nathan and David Aardsma are now anchoring the bullpen; Keiichi Yabu was seen passed out drunk under Lefty O'Doul Bridge. Also, Boof Bonser and Francisco Liriano will shore up a seven man rotation, Ray Durham took BART back to Oakland, and Giants fans can erase any mental scars left by Neifi Perez, Edgardo Alfonzo, Tsuyoshi Shinjo, Jeffrey Hammonds, A.J. Unnamed, Eric Young, Sidney Ponson, Steve Kline, Ruben Rivera, Dave Roberts, Jose Cruz Jr., Armando Benitez, Deivi Cruz,Wayne Franklin, Steve Finley, Mark Sweeney, Barry Zito, Ryan Klesko, Tim Worrell (second time), Randy Messenger, Russ Ortiz (second time), Jeff Fassero, Alex Sanchez, Latroy Hawkins and Felipe Alou. These players now officially never played for the Giants, who as a result have roughly a $370 million surplus to spend on payroll the remainder of the year.
Many Giants fans are ecstatic. For example, Carlos Valderrama of San Jose said, "Oh wow! This morning I woke up as a confused Minor League Coach. Now I'm a real Giant again!"
Other fans, such as Felipe Crespo, 35, of Rio Piedras, had a different reaction: "I don't think Selig is being fair," bitched Crespo. "Sabes definitely knew about the steroids man in 2001, when I was cut from the team. I should be starting tomorrow. Besides, I had more Splash hits than Willie Mays."
Another Felipe, Alou, had this to add, "Wow, this is quite a shock. I was thinking this offseason was suspiciously long. Now I get it. I was fired last year. Anyway someone tell Carlos Perez to start warming up."
Miguel del Toro is dead and could not be reached for comment.

Tampa Bay Giants

2008-02-20T01:59:00.000-08:00

Dick Pole

2008-02-07T22:59:00.000-08:00

We'll be in Scottsdale for Spring Training MArch 20-23, with plenty of Barry Martyr shirts for sale. What's more likely in 2008, Giants World Champs or Aurilia repeats 37 home run season of 2001? Another rough season expected.

Blog

2007-12-15T21:19:00.000-08:00

Hello, as you may have noticed, this blog is updated slightly sporadically. Actually it's more defunct than anything. It has very little to do with Shawon Dunston, in fact he seems pretty content with us not calling him every week. So, as for now, this site's main purpose is to get those Barry Bonds Martyr shirts onto the streets and into the homes etc. Maybe, if the Giants keep Caincecum, we'll have a real blog going this season. Who knows. For now, stick with McCovey Chronicles. Now get over there and start gobbling up those Barry shirts!!

State of the website address

2007-08-21T13:11:00.000-07:00

Hello, friends.
So as countless people have noticed, there has been an outrageous lack of activity on this site throughout the summer. Our excuse is that, due to the miserable status of our San Francisco Giants, we haven't felt motivated to do anything. Whether or not the first part of that statement is a valid reason, the latter half of the sentence is definitely true. I'm leaving the country for a while. I'm not sure what Brad or Shawon are doing. More Barry shirts are on the way.

Q & A #8

2007-06-04T14:53:00.000-07:00

Where are you guys?
Anonymous

Sorry for the delay, we are on train to partytown with Klesko

Q & A #7

2007-04-29T15:07:00.000-07:00

Why, Mr. Dunston, does the media give so much more attention to the Boston/Yankees rivalry than that of the Giants/Dodgers? After all, our rivalry is older, survived a change of coasts, and is ridiculously close in terms of all-time wins/losses. Thanks, go Gigantes!
Eddie T.
Tracy, CA

Eddie, it comes down to this: Although the teams may seem comparable on the field, Giants fans are so much doper than Dodger fans that nobody really takes the Dodgers seriously. When we go to the park, we get this:

When people go to the ballgame in Los Angeles they get:

Plus, when they finally get there after sitting in traffic for thirty hours, they stay for two innings, don’t know anything and don’t care.

With the Yankees/Red Sox, the fans of both teams are equally dimwitted, hence the competitive spirit. Now I know our diplomatic stance allies us with Boston, but there are deff some reasons to keep a wary eye open.

Q & A #6

2007-04-29T14:55:00.000-07:00

Hi Shawon, what, in your opinion, would happen in a perfect Giants game?
Tanya G.
Livermore

This about sums it up:

Q & A #5

2007-04-25T21:04:00.000-07:00

If Barry keeps this up, does he have a shot at winning MVP or at least Comeback Player of the Year?
Elaine
San Jose

8-time MVP? You bet! I can't think of a player who an offense depends on more, and neither can you. As for the coveted CBPotY Award... Barry was inexplicably left off of the ballot last year, after hitting .270 with 26 homeruns during a year where he had no meat on his knees and was overall hella old. The silver lining is that he has a great shot at Comeback Player of the Years (2).

Shawon, what's with the rash under Lowry's right eye? Is it getter bigger? If so, how will this affect his changeup?
Trent
Augusta, ME

Very perceptive Trent, but I can't contractually speak about that. This issue will be addressed in Spiderman 3.

Q & A #4

2007-04-23T23:12:00.000-07:00

Hey Mr. Dunston! Welcome back to the Giants family! What do you think of the Giants' first base situation?
Aaron L.
San Rafael

I really don't know what to think about who should be at first right now. Feliz, Aurilia, Niekro, Klesko and Sweeney can all play the position. If we could somehow consolidate them into one player that could pinch hit like Sweeney, hit for average like Aurilia, hit for power like Klesko, defend like Feliz and throw knuckleballs like Niekro, we would have a slightly below average first baseman. However, this is unlikely and it looks like the best idea would be to keep Feliz at third and go with the first base platoon of Rychie Klekilia. Niekro may be able to be traded for someone like Armando Benitez and Sweeney may be able to be traded for someone like me. It's one of those lose/lose/win/win/lose situations.

Q & A #3

2007-04-19T02:12:00.001-07:00

I noticed last week you refered to J.T. Snow, what does the "J.T." stand for?
Rory M.
Kansas City, MO

If you Wiki J.T. Snow, you'll read that his initials stand for "Jack Thomas". This is just another example of why Wikipedia is completely unreliable. Snow's use of an abbreviation is actually to cover up a darker side of the defensive wizz's legacy. Snow at an early age was an aspiring guitarist and singer-songwriter, playing the local circuit of Manhattan when he, at the age of 15, attended a James Taylor concert and became obsessed with the musician. Born Corey Wilbur Snow, J.T. became an overzealous fan, began playing Taylor cover songs on the street, and legally changed his name to James Taylor Snow. The real James Taylor heard of this, and, realizing Snow was disturbed, arranged a meeting with the aspiring musician. Their interaction was brief, as Taylor was short on time:
Taylor: Hi there, son... so what's this about you changing your name?
Snow: Oh! Mister Taylor I am such a huge fan and I--
Taylor: Yeah obviously, listen you snot if you go around telling people your name is James Taylor and playing my songs I will send a friend or two of mine to treat your teeth like pottery, understood?
Snow: Huh--No, I-- what do you mean?
Taylor: I mean you'll be laid out on the sidewalk defecating on yourself. Pick something else, idiot.
Snow: Something else? Like what? I was just try--
Taylor: I don't care, try stealing cars or drugs or call up the Yankees and ask if they have any openings at first base, either way just stop playing my songs. [smashes Snow's guitar on the ground]
Snow: [sobbing] Caa-caaa-can I keep your name at least?
Taylor: Pathetic. No. But you can keep the initials if it makes you happy, I'm sure someday it will remind you of how stupid you once were. Now get out of my face.

Snow, already having a few warrants he had yet to take care of, decided to pursue Taylor's third suggestion, and the rest is history! Don't believe it? Proof:

Q & A #2

2007-04-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

Shawon, as we show our appreciation for Jackie Robinson, what do you think is the reason that black players are less prevalent in the game today?
Melissa M.
Carlsbad

Melissa, first, you need to step your terminology game way up. “Black” here doesn’t work, because there are tons of players from Latin countries of African descent who look “black”, such as Carlos Delgado. There are also people from Latin countries who look “white” like Rafael Palmeiro. Thirdly, there are people from America that look “black”, like Jackie Robinson. Fourthly, there are people from Venezuala like Josh Barfield whose name indicates there was some sort of mixup. And then there’s Esteban Yan and Bruce Chen. And Tomokazu Ohka is Japanese, while Dave Roberts is only half, and Brian Roberts is even less than that! We’re concerned with the third group, African Americans, whose presence in baseball has dwindled over the past few decades. All weekend, I heard various media people citing “the lure of basketball and football in inner cities” as the cause for this trend. However, not once did I hear the correct answer: “Me”. Not “me” as in Shawon but “me” as in the media spokesman speaking about himself. What the media has chosen to do to Barry Bonds over the past twenty years is just despicable. African Americans have been able to watch three of their own, Ken Griffey Jr., Frank Thomas, and Barry Bonds, contend to be the best hitters of all time, and when the former two saw their careers halted by injury, Bonds’ kept getting more and more amazing. So, does the media applaud his career and give him to praise he deserves? No, they try to break him down into nothing, and instead give the honor to... Roger Clemens. Clemens’ career is exremely similar to Bonds’, and his selfish play by far exceeds that of the great Barry. Can you imagine what the media would say if Barry decided to wait until May or so to start playing?

These newspaper men have taken the great African American hero away from the youth, and now they ask why African American kids aren’t interested in the sport. I only hope that this blatant racism by a predominantly white media will be exposed in time.

Sorry for the unpleasant by necessary seriousness, next weeks theme: Stand By Your ‘Mando!

Q & A #1

2007-04-05T19:12:00.000-07:00

Hey Shawon, I loved watching you as a Giant. I remember that home run you hit in Game 6. Anyway, what do you think of the Giants’ finalized roster? Is this the year?
Andy H.
Sonoma

If, by “the year” you mean “the year that lots of unpredictable things in baseball happen, as is the case in most years” (which I assume you do) then, probably. I do remember that home run, and I remember we were definitely supposed to win the game when we were up 5-0. As I recall, that didn’t happen. What I mean to say is, the 2007 Giants aren’t supposed to be better than the 2006 team which lost like every game. On paper they look comparable, and in person they look even more similar. However, they look just as similar to the 2004 team which won nearly 150 games and would have made the playoffs if it weren't for that slimeball crawdad Finley. The most notable difference was that the 2004zies had the offensive juggernaut of “The Angry Abbreviator”, J.T. Snow. Snow was “supposed” to hit about .237, instead he anagramed those numbers and put up a .327. Long story short, anything can happen, especially in the playoffs. The Cardinals were by far the worst team in the postseason last year and they didn’t embarrass themselves. So, to answer your question, yes.

Shawon Dunston Joins TBG

2007-03-27T22:47:00.000-07:00

Big news folks! We here at Tampa Bay Giants have recently joined teams with Shawon Dunston, whom Giants fans remember from his three tours with San Francisco (1996, 1998, 2001-02), resulting in a National League Championship, 18 towering home runs, and two purple hearts. Baseball wizz Bill James noted that Dunston was an "eternal rookie, a player who continued until the end of his career to make rookie mistakes." Obviously, this is a match made in heaven's singles lounge. So from now on, instead of a sporadically updated blog, expect sporadic question and answer sessions from TBG's hordes of fans answered by the two time overall pick (once in the 1982 MLB draft, the other in the 2007 TampaBayGiants.com worldwide search for someone to lessen the harsh physical burden of blogging). If you want to get involved, simply, contact Shawon through his electronic mail!

200Heaven

2007-03-07T21:22:00.000-08:00

Welcome back friends. This year, TBG plans to be much better. We will start with predictions for the upcoming 162-3 games of ecstasy we have in store.

To help make offensive projections for the lineup this year, I took the career highs in each category for each player and came up with these hitting forecasts:

Roberts:
.293/.360/.428, 80 R, 19 2B's, 13 3B's, 8 HR, 44 RBI, 49 SB
Vizquel:
.333/.397/.436, 112 R, 36 2B's, 10 3B's, 14 HR, 72 RBI, 43 SB
Durham:
.296/.374/.538, 126 R, 42 2B, 10 3B, 26 HR, 93 RBI, 36 SB
Barry Bonds:
.370/.609/.863, 129 R, 44 2B, 9 3B, 73 HR, 137 RBI, 52 SB, 232 BB
Aurilia:
.325/.369/.572, 114 R, 37 2B, 37 HR, 97 RBI
Klesko:
.310/.399/.608, 105 R, 39 2B, 34 HR, 113 RBI, 23 SB
Winn:
.306/.360/.499, 103 R, 47 2B, 9 3B, 20 HR, 81 RBI, 27 SB
Molina:
.295/.336/.467, 24 2B, 19 HR, 71 RBI

Bench:
Pedro Feliz:
.276/.305/.515, 35 2B's, 22 HR's, 98 RBI

At least on paper, we have what seems to be a historically special team. No one can argue with those numbers. BUT, I know what you're thinking...
"isn't it likely that some players will post new career highs in some categories?"
To answer this one, we can only wait and see what happens...play ball!

Winter

2006-10-30T13:58:00.000-08:00

Just wake me up when we've signed Bonds, Schmidt, and Soriano. As for Moose Mochy... I'm heading back to bed

The D

2006-10-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

Huh... where am I? What year is this? Where's Jake?... Oh right, this happens every year after the Giants are eliminated... a few weeks of spacing out as the thoughts of doom snowball in my brain... finally snapping out of it to make sure at least one team loses in the WS. Actually in this series I am fa sho rooting for Detroit, as they have been completely miserable for most of my baseball watching career. This team should give hope to the Kansas Cities, the Milwaukees and the Montreals that have been oh so hopeless for oh so long. But the Devil Rays should and will remain hopeless. Also, Jeff Weaver and Scott Spiezio are ridiculous tools and should be glove slapped. Ugh... only like five months till Scottsdale

I hate Baseball

2006-10-01T20:36:00.000-07:00

Well, you all know how the season ended, and I don't want to talk about it. Go A's for now, death to the Dodgers & Yankees. Anyway, there is some good news which relates to us here at TBG. Check out the news in the Jason Grimsely case. Now, I have been pointing the steroid finger at Clemens for literally years now. A huge reason Bonds started getting allegations was due to his production when he was in his late thirties and early forties. Clemens did the exact same thing, throwing as hard as ever for 200+ innings as a 40 year old power pitcher. This simply shouldn't happen, power pitchers who succeed late in their careers do so with location and offspeed stuff, as they have lost significant zip on their fastballs. The ONLY exception to this rule is Nolan Ryan who spent the last few years of his career in the same dugout as Jose Canseco, Rafael Palmeiro, and Juan Gonzalez. I wouldn't be surprised. Anyway, the fact that Clemens hasn't experienced similar scrutiny to that of Bonds isn't just ignorant, it's plain racism. I hope the conservative fatcats at FOX and other media outlets who chose to turn Clemens into Captain America are exposed for what they are: prejudice whites who don't want a black man saving baseball.

Goooo Giants

2006-09-25T23:50:00.000-07:00

I've been in bed shaking for the last week.

About a week ago the giants were in the middle of two close playoff races. They had to play the best baseball of the whole season if they had any serious aspirations of making the playoffs and beating teams much better staffed and coached than them. So what did they do? They promptly lost four in a row (including a series to the Rockies). I then said to myself "the season is all but over UNLESS they sweep the brewers, win the arizona series, and suicide bomb the dodgers, winning the rivalry once and for all!" History will show, in situations like this, the season is almost always all but over. They had to play the best baseball of the season and they literally played their worst. Not only did they convince me they don't deserve to ever be in the playoffs this year, but they also convinced me that anyone who likes the Giants are losers (and i LOVE people who like the giants!).

Here's the specifics: The starting pitching is pathetic and the bullpen is doing a shitty impression of the starting pitching. The team is old, and if they were winning, their age wouldn't matter, but they AREN'T winning so it obviously does. Pedro Feliz being a free swinger isn't the end of a team, but a Pedro Feliz at first, third and catcher is. Randy Winn is both the best and worst basketball player in baseball since Michael Jordan. And Mike Stanton is our closer.

SO, as far as i'm concerned the season is over. You can only be a barely .500 team all season if you make a ridiculous run at the end (see the national league playoff picture). Infact, the WHOLE point of being .500 at september is to finish strong. The giants missed the WHOLE point and it's so frustrating!

I've been up for 5 months straight and it's time to get some sleep. I'll wake up again for the winter meetings (bring home Terry Mulholland!). Tampabay giants.com has a lot of growing up in the mean time and i'll do my best to deny that until the last minute and then throw something stupid together.

good night,
Brad

Fun With Colours

2006-09-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

Next year, the Diamondbacks are changing colors from purple and ...ummm... green with copper(?) to tan and red. Sounds like a plan. It'll be nice to avoid nausea-inducing jerseys for 14 games. I have no idea what the D'Backs brass was thinking. Rap stars don't wear White Sox gear (thus promoting the product) because they're A.J. Pierzynski fans. They wear the stuff because it looks badass. (Relevant note: I am wearing a White Sox starter jacket to work today (I'm a HUGE A.J. fan), and my coworker saw the badass 'Sox' logo on the back and said 'Hey, I'm from Boston!'. I glared into her soul for a second and walked away) (Obviously kidding about A.J. Then why do I wear it? It looks completely badass, no doubt). Anyway, I doubt even Phoenixians wear those grape home caps. Actually, the entire state of Arizona is kind of backwards in fashion sense. We go to Scottsdale for spring training and it's like stepping into 1986. As for other atrocious jerseys, the next step? Colorado Rockies. Sure there's the "purple mountains majesties" factor, but I've seen those things. They're brown. Some are black. Ooh, idea! Rockies should change every instance of purple in their team color scheme to brown. Now that the Padres have pretty much abandoned 'burnt turd', it's time for Colorado to pick up the slack. I guarantee within a month you'll see Lil Wayne and/or Young Jeezy "rocking" Rockies gear on MTVizzle. Finally, as the last remaining purple team, the Devil Rays should change their colors to blue and yellow and turn Tropicana into an Ikea. They'd make a lot more money that way, and I'd it'd be a blast to see Delmon throwing microwaves at everyone.

Barter Time

2006-09-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

OK. So with the rainout yesterday, the only way it will be made up is if the Giants are 1/2 game up/down for the wild card or division, OR if the Cardinals are tied for the best record and need a win for home field advantage. So, Felipe needs to bust out his Blackberry and get Larussa on the line and say "Hey, buddyman. I'm Dominican, you're probably Dominican, let's talk. If you guys need a win, and we don't, you'll get it. And, if we need a win, and you don't, let los gigantes taste that sugar." To which the much more savvy La Russa will reply "The diamond eagle burns at midnight", meaning that he agrees and that, in these hypothetical situations, his starting pitcher will be Eckstein, as long as Felipe's is Thomas de La Rosa.

Armanblown Saveitez

2006-09-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

Armando Benitez is out for the season. And he might be hurt for next year. What is going on? He's had problems with both knees, arm problems, arthritis problems, hamstring problems, and blaming-blown-saves-on-Omar-Vizquel's-defense problems during his stint in orange and black. Luckily for Omar, it looks like Benitez will be out of the league by the time Vizquel's next book comes out. Anyway I wonder how much of Mando's $7 mil we'd have to eat to trade him for a ham sandwich or so. That trade would involve a lot of eating. Gosh I wonder how much we'd have to pay to trade Benitez for a guy like Chad Cordero one for one. Fifteen, twenty million? That would be a ridiculous trade. Steinbrenner could pull it off, no doubt. But yeah this is a huge predicament for next year, probably bigger than re-signing Schmidt. Between Lowry, Cain, Hennessey, Correia, Morris, Sanchez and ya BOYEEEE Tim Lincecum, we have some viable options for the rotation if, god forbid, Schmiddtty signs elsewhere. Speaking of god forbid, that omnipotent wildchild in the sky sure as hell better keep Jamie Wright off the team next year. I was a big fan of Wright when we signed him, but then he turned out to be trash, so now I hate him. Simple guess-and-check logic. Anyway, the "viable option" situation is not the case in the bullpen. I rrreally don't think we should put much into Mike Stanton. Homeboy is old and fat. Three straight bad outings and I say we send him to Fasseroville. I still have faith in Munter's sinker and Taschner's left handedness, and Brian Wilson has shown signs of nasty, but on the whole, the place is still in development stages. I personally don't know why Sanchez isn't consider closer material. That fastball is super ridiculoso. His other pitches aren't developed yet, and he's been using them extremely sparingly, which doesn't usually lead to many successful starts. Can I get an amen!

Rules: Made to be Broken

2006-09-14T11:11:00.000-07:00

*Awkward Pause* Well to change the subject....If there's one rule in baseball you could change, what would it be? DH is excluded. I'm asking to find a good answer, because I can't really think of one. As a Bonds fan, I'd like to the intentional walk be eliminated, as it is the most boring play in baseball, even slightly more boring than its sneaky cousin, the unintentional intentional walk. IBB's are just a technicality, but UIBB's have a chance of a location mistake, making it technically worth watching. How would this be enforced? Good question, Tina. Maybe something karazee, like an "extreme ball zone". But, as I eluded to before, I haven't really thought of any good ideas. From a statistical standpoint, the save should be retired. No other stat effects the game more. Managers often use their bullpen in accordance with the official save rule, which leads to laziness and ineffectivity on the part of the skipper. An obnoxious example of how this stat changes things took place during Gagne's streak, when he would get put into games where there were an out or two in the ninth, a four run lead, and a runner on. Eliezer Alfonzo could save 84 straight if he were only put in for these situations. Hell, Edgardo could even do it. Actually maybe not Edgardo.

Old People Pee They Pants Like Moises

2006-09-14T11:06:00.000-07:00

Moises Alou is one of the few players who I would want to watch years after he stops producing. On the field he 's the angriest man n the world. His chewing tobacco pouch, or 'face', always looks to be on the brink of a Bartmanesque meltdown. He storms around the outfield so clunkily that Randy Winn doesn't even bother backing him up on balls hit to right, for fear of being trampled by the mighty Domincan. Watching this forty year old timebomb dive for balls makes me want to call Information for the number to the local hospital, just in case. "It's the only way I know how to play". Badass. Plus, he uses his own urine as batting gloves. And he's lived in America most his life, was born in Atlanta, and can barely speak English. I wouldn't be surprised if he can barely speak Spanish as well. The icing on the cake has got to be his dnosaur step he takes before his at-bats, where he plays Godzilla and the grass plays fleeing Japanese. I have never heard an explanation for this senseless manuever. I bet it's one of things I won't understand until I'm older. Anyway, I sure hope he doesn't retire anytime soon. Yeah, he's injury prone, but he's productive when healthy, which is a thousand times better than slumping all year but playing every day (no offense, Randy).(as in, "you've provided no offense, Randy").(Winn). The bigger issue is that he's tied at the hip to the Cream of Wheat factory known as Felipe. Maybe Daddy Alou will fall and break that hip, releasing Mo from captivity.

Brooks Kieschnick

2006-09-14T10:59:00.000-07:00

So Woody Williams comes in and gets three hits against Matt Morris. Kruk mentioned how, in college. Williams started one game a week on the mound and played shortstop the rest of the time. I've always thought someone should do this in the majors. Maybe Fred Lewis will. I don't see why a player can't be both, if he has the skillz. If you recall a couple years back, former outfielder Brooks Kieschnick pitched out of the Brewers' bullpen for a few seasons. In 2003 he hit seven homers as a reliever (plus a few dozen pinch-hits). He was tearing the hay off of the ball, but he didn't get starts in the outfield, instead was kept in the 'pen til the late innings. I guess the theory is "pitchers are pitchers, and hitters are hitters". Or maybe the theory is "Jose Canseco tore his rotator cuff pitching for novelty's sake". Well, you heard it here first: Rick Ankiel will red-shirt with the Giants next year as an outfielder, barely make the team and only because of his guts, start hitting immediately, but then one day a starting pitcher will break his "ankiel" and Rick will have to make an emergency relief appearance, striking out twelve in three innings (he has control issues). Now, he'll gain his poise back on the mound and become our fifth starter AND rightfielder, winning 308 games with a 3.08 ERA and a .308 average and 308 homeruns over the next 15 years. It should be sweet.

Playoffs

2006-09-10T17:46:00.000-07:00

If the playoffs started tomorrow, I'm not sure who would be my third starter after Cain and Schidt<--ha! Lowry has pitched better on the season than Morris, but neither of them has shown long lasting consistency. I don't put much into the theory that veteran pitchers are better in the playoffs than young players. I'd bet it's statistically insignificant. Players are excited/nervous for every start. Still, I might give Morris the nod, and let him pitch with a very tight leash. Three earned in the second? Pull 'em. Bases loaded nobody out, ever? Warm someone up. However, if his big curve is as nasty as the scum under Moises' lower lip, he could make some quality starts. Most importantly, I really would like to see Lowry coming out of the 'pen. After a few innings of fastballs, I bet the opposing lineup would have a tough time with Lowry's changeup.

The reinforcements are here!

2006-09-10T05:07:00.002-07:00

Since the call up Jason Ellison and Lance Niekro are a combined 3 for 6 with two doubles and a run. Take THAT anybody without complete and utter faith in the giants farm system! "What about Fred Lewis?" you ask. How about 1 for 1 with an RBI. I've done some projections based on his major leauge numbers so far and figured out that in a full season with 450 at bats he would set new single season major league records batting 1.000 with 450 rbis. That's still no Darren Lewis, but it's a start.

Also, Hillenbrand- Bonds- Durham- Alou is the probably best 3-4-5-6 since Mays- Mccovey- Cepeda- Mays Jr. Someone better start carving the Hall of Fame plaque for the SHEA hey kid!

rookie of week!

2006-09-08T01:26:00.000-07:00

this may be controversial but if you really think about it didn't Jonathon Sanchez throw MORE of a no-hitter than Annibal Sanchez?

-brad

Another career year for Randy Winn

2006-09-07T16:15:00.000-07:00

Everytime i'm about to write something about what the giants should do next year, they win a series against the reds and i'm forced to keep thinking about this year. The fact of the matter is that except for a lack of a closer, we don't have a real weakness (relative to the national leauge) except for inconsitancy and underachievment. FACT: If Shea Hillenbrand had been hitting 300 since his arrival, the giants would have already clinched the west and bene eliminated by the marlins in the NLDS.

A team's future success should be predicted by their expected performances, and i believe that up and down the lineup (baring injuries) reasonable expectations would prove the giants to be a playoffs caliber team (in the nl west). However, except for New Alfonzo, Durham and Vizquel, the rest of the lineup is anywhere from 10 to 40 points below their career averages (as well as other production stats). I did some math recently and determined that a team with no closer can only survive on Ray Durhams 23 homerun season for 5 months and 1 week. Obviously time is running out. Playoffs depend on the players who are underachieving the most: Bonds, Hillenbrand, and Winn. If two of those guys have great Septembers I won't have to think about next year for years.

Speaking of which, the padres lineup looks like it's made out of sticks and mud (sticks being old losers and mud being young unproven losers). Although, to be fair I guess our lineup is basically stronger sticks and older, more disapointing mud.

-brad

Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money

2006-09-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

Finding a good pic of Prince Valium from spaceballs is probably a bit difficult, but there's no excuse for the lack of a better Bronson shot

Big Surprise

2006-09-04T21:44:00.000-07:00

Hey, look who has the most homers on the Giants? Hint: he also has an OPS over 1.000. Double hint: his 14.0 at bats per home run lead the league amongst players whose "at bats per home run" divides without a remainder. It's BA-rry BO-nds (pronounced a la "FLA-vor FLA-ve")! And all these bandwagoneers thought Bonds wouldn't do anything this year. Which brings me to the first TBG self-reference. Please check out " Favorite Giant" for more information about this underrated, left for dead player who literally came out of left field, slowly and with much caution. Can anyone say "comeback player of the year"?

Because if you can, and you can also say "Hmmm, Bonds might actually be a candidate for the", you should put the two together, and congratulate yourself on the completion of a valid point.

sloppy

2006-08-31T16:33:00.000-07:00

ok, a few things have gone wrong so far that i didn't see coming. like defense, and pitching, and hitting. but the important thing is that tomas de la rosa is still healthy.
-brad

the next next todd lindens.

2006-08-29T07:59:00.001-07:00

I just spent the 3am+ part of my night on minorleaguebaseball.com and thebaseballcube.com going through the rosters and statistics of all the levels of the giants farm system. Among some of the more notable things to mention is that merkin valdez's stats are not notable enough to mention. Also, the giants don't have a single offensive player on any of their minor leauge rosters. On a more optimistic and serious note, the giants actually have 12 or so starters and 8 or so relievers between the A's and AA levels who look very impressive. ALSO this is my vote for coolest prospect on the farm:

Eugenio Velez Augusta Green Jackets (A), SS, age 24
443 AB / 86 R / 88 RBI / 14 HR / 18 3B / 60 SB / .312 AVG / .360 OBP / .553 SLG

The Greenjackets are currently leading the southern division with 47-15 record and ten game cushion. memorize these names, they'll all be star pitchers on the twins soon.

-brad

Giants set major league record with 3 wins in a row!

2006-08-28T02:34:00.000-07:00

The Giants have won 3 in a row, 11 out of 14, and have reserved the national league cy young for the next 4 years at least. With a must win road trip on the horizon and the post season again in sight, the question is on everyone's lips, "What can possibly go wrong?"

Here are the only possible answers to that question:

1. Pedro Feliz gets stuck in a wet paper bag for a week, missing the roadtrip completely.
2. Barry Bonds's swing gets soooo bad that he not only continues to hit less homeruns, but also starts hitting homeruns for the other team.
3. Chicago Cub fans still hate Latroy Hawkins so much that they charge the field and injure everyone in the Giants bullpen "for good measure".
4. Omar Vizquel writes another book, this time blaming Noah Lowry for blowing the 97 world series for the Cleveland Indians. Lowry vows to peg Vizquel at short everytime theyre on the field together.
5. Shea Hillenbrand gets in a huge disagreement with management and is traded for Shea Hillenbrand.
6. Jason Schmidt gets put in the bullpen for no reason and when he complains about the move it somehow causes Ray Durham to strain his hamstring.
7. Matt Morris gets some food stuck in his beard and is very emabrassed when it gets pointed out.
8. The Reds go down to LA to play the Dodgers and Ned Coletti somehow figures out a way for BOTH teams to win every game.
9. Kangaroo attack.
10. Armando Benitez blows a save by giving up a homerun to the leadoff batter.

Now that i think about it these are all very unlikely. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

-brad

two is like a hundred times more than one.

2006-08-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

first of all! my name is brad and i co-made this website with sam. this is my first blog on this site as i didn't know we were serious about it until now.

-brad

Favorite Giant

2006-08-21T17:43:00.000-07:00

I was surprised today to get into an argument with my close friends about who their favorite Giant was. My answer, unhesitatingly, was Barry Bonds. It has always, since the beginning of time in early 1993, been Barry Bonds. However, my "friends" looked at me as if I were Greg Maddux, or any other Down's syndrome victim for that matter. They thought I was being immature and naïve, disrespecting the argument by proposing such a moronic response.

The fact that they proposed ridiculous choices such as Matt Morris and Omar Vizquel is irrelevant. I'm sorry, but if you're a Giants fan and you're trying to say Barry Bonds isn't your favorite player, you've drifted so far from reality that you might as well choose yourself as your favorite Giant (this sarcastic rule, of course, not applicable to Todd Linden, who would not surprise anyone by listing himself as his favorite Giants player). If you weren't convinced by the hundreds of stolen bases, home runs, game winning plays, and dozens of records and awards Bonds brought to this city, try getting off the futon and head to China Basin, where The House That Bonds Built is the most beautiful building west of the Taipei 101. And guess what, it's a packed house every night. Remind you of the Stick circa 1985? Hell no. The Barry Bonds Era has been amazing for the Giants, keeping them in contention the last decade, and daily exhibiting the best hitter since the Babe. Without Bonds, there would most likely be no baseball team in San Francisco, but instead… you guessed it, the Tampa Bay Giants. Peter Magowan must have had the plan to bring Bonds back when he saved the team in 1993. Hell, he signed Bonds just days after buying the Giants, before he had even found a general manager! If you don't think that's a direct link between Bonds and the survival of our beloved team, choke on something, die.

Not listing Bonds as your favorite player would require an investigation as to when and how the definition of "favorite" morphed into an entirely different entity. Morris and Vizquel are choices that fourth graders would choose to show off that they know players the other fourth graders haven't heard of. My friends aren't fourth graders, and their argument was along the lines of "Bonds too obvious of a choice" but that shouldn't make the choice incorrect. That's like a Christian saying his favorite historical figure is St. Jude because Jesus is too "obvious". Bonds is miserable this year, but he has sixteen more homers than any other kneeless 42 year old in the game. So next time he comes to bat and you're wondering why the masses of AT&T Park are so excited to see a .237 cleanup hitter, look around the comfortable yet gorgeous architecture of the stadium by the Bay, and maybe your forgetful, spoiled mind will put two and two together.

So! Who's your favorite Giant and why?

"Slump Yard"

2006-08-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

After winning five straight, the Giants lose 16 out of 19. Three and sixteen--another indirect reminder of the looming 49ers season. In the meantime, the Dodgers won 16 of 17 and are leading the division, while the Giants have fallen to last place, seven and a half out and nine games under five hundred. SO, I guess it's time to call it a season and devote those three hours a day for more productive activities, namely anything.

Unfortunately, I don't see any chance of these personal ambitions coming to be. As unlikely as it seems that the team will make the playoffs, I'm just as interested as ever, for myriad reasons. First, if they make the postseason, they'll DEFINITELY win the World's Series, because we are owed it for 2002 and 1989 with the earthquake and no home field and Barry Bonds' martyrdom during the steroid scandal. So that adds to the interest level. Also, if the Dodgers can do it, why can't we? They lost nine straight in July! Most importantly, I have developed my normal daily baseball routine, and any change would disrupt my metabolism and endorphin cycles, among other health-related cycles.

Mike Stanton

2006-07-28T18:23:00.000-07:00

The Giants just traded for Nationals reliever Mike Stanton, whose miniscule 4.47 ERA should provide an immediate mental boost for our dismal bullpen, which gives up an astronomical 4.58 runs per nine innings. You may remember Stanton from the World Series about ten years ago, when he was barely thrity. An interesting note is the prospect we departed with was Shairon Martis, who threw a mercy rule no-hitter for the Netherlands in the World Baseball Classic. Predictably, his Wikipedia entry already lists him as one of the best pitchers in the Nationals organization, despite never being considered much as a Giants farmhand. Martis is wisely taking the Joe Nathan route of dominating immediately after leaving the Giants, which should be an interesting development. Speaking of which, Salomen Torres, longtime friendly rival of Barry Bonds, is coming into pitch with the bases juiced... let's see what happens

Giants lose 3-1

2006-07-09T18:19:00.000-07:00

It was fitting to see Robb Nen in attendance at the Giants game today, after the ugly incident at the World Cup. Zinedine Zidane will end his sensational career after experiencing a total mental breakdown during the biggest stage in futbol.

Robb Nen, on the other hand, ended his career during the biggest stage in baseball, when he over-exerted himself during WWII, also know as the World Series 2002, when the Giants blew a five run lead in Game 6. Then they signed Nen to a two year $18 million deal. Then, they traded Joe Nathan and Francisco Liriano to the Twins for cancer, because we didn’t need a closer, because we gave Robb Nen so much money. Then Nen’s arm turned to cream of wheat, and he went on vacation. Tim Worrell was thrown into the closer’s role, had a good year in 2003, and was rewarded with a two year contract for the 2006 & 2007 seasons. Along the way, Tyler Walker came in with the bases loaded and struck out the side, and Matt Herges’ slider made jaws drop for a month, but both turned out to be frauds. SO, Brian Sabean bit the bullet and signed Benitez to a 21 million dollar deal, which, a month into 2005, had people looking around the ballpark for Dustin Hermanson. The Dodgers, meanwhile, saw Eric Gagne go from bad starter to best closer in the galaxy to post-steroid depression victim. However, no problem, they luckily had picked up a 41 save guy in the offseason as insurance, and then when he wasn’t quite up to par, got Saito to shut down the Giants. It’s been a frustrating half.

Big series

2006-07-06T13:58:00.000-07:00

Big series coming up. The radio says we're sending our four best pitchers, so I believe they mean Wright, Hennessey, Correia, and Wright. Plus, one of the Alou's has decided he's not too old to play outfield. Find out which... at 7:05

Welcome to The Original Gigantic Giants Super-Fan Site Blog

2006-07-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

Hello, friends. By now you are well aware that you are visiting The Gigantic Giants Super-Fan Site. This is said site's blog portion, in which we discuss our feelings towards the current Giants happenings.